New Hampshire’s Best Man for the Job: Kyle Wedge

Kate: I’m Kate Tucker, and this is Hope is My Middle Name, a podcast from Consensus Digital Media. Today we get to talk with Kyle Wedge. I first heard about Kyle from his boss, Margo Walsh. She's the founder of MaineWorks, a company that connects employers to people facing barriers to employment like addiction or felony convictions. As you can imagine, Margo herself has a huge story, and in talking with her, she told me, “You've got to talk with Kyle.” Kyle is Field Operations Manager for MaineWorks in their New Hampshire branch, and he knows firsthand the power of having good work, a daily routine, and most importantly, a community.

When it comes to recovery, as you'll hear, he's someone who really does live every day with hope and with a belief that change is possible no matter where we come from or what we face.



Kate: Hello, Kyle. It's so good to see you.

Kyle:  Hello, Kate. It's very nice to see you. 

Kate: So let's start with MaineWorks. I'd love to know the mission and what you do there. 

Kyle: So for MaineWorks, the mission is reintroducing an individual that's struggled either with incarceration or struggled with addiction, and kind of help them get through that door of changing their lives forever by finding them employment that they enjoy, but also helping them with the, you know, all the wraparound services like the transportation, helping them get their license back, helping them with the gear that they need for the job. Also helping them with dental or any kind of obstacle that's in their way. 

Kate: Hmm. 

Kyle: We remove those obstacles so they can just focus on their recovery and focus on what they need each day they get up and face life and go to work. 

Kate: So if someone is coming straight out of prison or straight out of rehab, could they come to MaineWorks and be working the next day? 

Kyle: Yes, absolutely. Sometimes it happens quicker than that, but a lot of people are like, wow, you got me a job quick. I just called 10 minutes ago. And so we do move fast. We take people that are willing to work and we show up each day and make sure that they have absolutely everything they need and get them to work. 

Kate: That's incredible. Tell me more about your role. What's a day in the life like for you?

Kyle: I'm the field operation manager for the New Hampshire branch, and my role is kind of like a little bit of everything from hiring people, from dealing with the clients, from finding out like where staff is needed. So working on those relationships. Also working on relationships with the sober houses, so we like to hire from sober houses that have strong accountability and push people to grow. 

Kate: Hmm. 

Kyle: So for me, my days are very simple. I get up in the morning, I pick a group of people to drive into work, to a job. I have a lovely conversation with them. I keep them motivated about life. Sometimes we just laugh and have fun. I think it's important just to set the tone, even at the beginning of the day. That's where a lot of us just struggle, is just waking up and wanting to work, right? 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: We also do site visits, so we really have a hands-on approach with our employees and our clients, to really understand what they need and understand what our clients need as well. 

So, we also just deal with everything that comes with, uh, recovery and construction work. It's not the easiest job for everyone, so it's definitely a special breed that wants to get up and learn a career in construction, whether it's framing or masonry or whatever it is, and we kind of just help them with that.

But for me, yeah, I love doing what I do. I love seeing people smile. I love people succeeding. We're also kind of like case managers. We help these employees well after the fact of work hours, we're helping them with sober house rent so they're not stressed out or getting their license back. Like the other day, I just helped an employee with the driving test and provided a vehicle for him to get his license back and he's never had it in 35 years.

Kate: Wow. Did you drop the guy off to get his license and then pick him back up when he was done with the test? 

Kyle: Yeah, so I drove him over to the DMV. I sat outside.

Kate: Was he nervous? Yes. He was so nervous. I'm like, dude, you passed the hardest part. You passed the written part. I'm horrible at the written part. 

Kate: Me too.

Kyle: So you've already achieved the impossible. Like all you gotta do is just drive. I'm like, this is what I told him. Like complete stops, blinkers. Just look like you're always looking at your mirrors and paying attention to everything. 

Kate: Oh my gosh. What did he say when he got back in the car with you? With his license? 

Kyle: He showed it to me and he was just super smiley. He was super grateful. Of course, he was just thanking me for everything and I'm like, dude, I did not do anything. You did this. Now he's an employee that also uses one of the company vehicles and picks up a whole crew and drives them into work with him. So like he's gotten that responsibility and that kind of leadership role.

I like to think like, there's a lot more opportunity for people that come through the door at MaineWorks. It's not just finding a career in construction or something that you love. Like you can also realize you don't wanna do construction. So it's like a stepping stone. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: Like, alright, that's not for me. So maybe I'll start looking for something else in a get-well job. Or maybe I love MaineWorks and what they do. Maybe I grow within the company or maybe I help with the Maine Recovery Fund and just helping people in general of like getting the things they need back in their life. 

Kate: Yeah. Wow. That's such an impactful story.

I'm curious, are there other stories that show the work that MaineWorks is doing, you know, that you've been able to witness in transforming other people's lives. 

Kyle: Yeah, absolutely. So there's times where I brought in like a check to someone to help pay off fines that they owed or given someone a letter to court to help them with like pending charges they had over their head.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: Or even provide someone with a company vehicle where they could just go see their kids for the first time on the weekend. 

Kate: Yeah

Kyle: Like that's the amount of trust and the amount of extra that MaineWorks does. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: For these individuals, we go above and beyond. We don't stop when 4pm comes in the afternoon, like Monday through Friday. It's when you're not at work, that’s what's important. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: Whether it's getting your kids back in your life, building relations back up with your family, whether it's going to classes that you need to do because of driving while intoxicated. We also have had a lot of people be hired on by companies where our employees go in and they're just like, wow, they're better than our employees.

Like, can we hire 'em immediately? I'm like, whoa, slow down. Get to know 'em a little, a little more. But that's the outcome. Like that's what we're helping with. We're removing that stigma and that perception of, oh, he's got pending charges, or he has an addiction problem, but the people that need that second chance or that help could be the most valuable person that you added to your company or team.

Kate: Yeah.

Kyle: Because that person has hit all the pain in the world and they're willing to go to any lengths to be their best self for that company. And sometimes like that's the struggle. Like we put ourselves too much into work because we find that purpose again, and then we're not focusing on ourselves. 

Kate: Mm-hmm.

Kyle: So you have to create the balance. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: Of not just work, but also outside of work what you need to do. 

Kate: Mm. 

Kyle: We come in and we help create that balance. We tell 'em that what they're doing at home and for themselves is just as important as what they do  showing up as a MaineWorks employee during the week.

Kate: For you personally, you know, you talk about getting up so early in the morning and bringing all this positivity and energy to people to help them feel motivated to go to work, which is hard for all of us, and that's your job. So how do you stay motivated? 

Kyle: Self-care is so important, like you, you gotta be able to work on yourself. You gotta be able to replenish your spirituality and everything like that, because as much good as we do in a job, there's times where there's negative in a job where you keep giving people opportunity and they don't take it and it's hard. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: To like balance that and not take it personal. And it's a practice just like anything else in life.

You know, you can't carry the negativity from one thing to another. You keep yourself motivated for your dreams. When I'm not at work on the weekends like I'm achieving for myself, that's the time for myself. 

Kate: Is there any experience you've had where you can remember the story or the day or the morning or the person that you were like, yes, I am doing what I'm meant to do.

Kyle: I know this is where I need to be. It's honestly, every time I go watch HOPE, the movie of MaineWorks.

Excerpt from MaineWorks Documentary, Anonymous Speaker: For me, I needed structure. You know what I mean? I need to hear, you know, Margo usually speaks every single morning, whether it's, “How's your day going, how's this going?” That to me is showing that somebody actually cares about me.

I'm a drug addict. I mean, usually when you're at that point, nobody gives a bleep about you. 

Kate: It's so good. 

Kyle: It gets me, every time. I cry at the end. But then like I come back to the office, I'm like, I'm motivated to change everyone's life. You know? 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: So it's moments like those… Margo, she's the owner of the company.

It's people like her that are just so giving and so lovely as a person. When you find real people like that, their energy is infectious. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: I've been in a situation where I've hired someone like, oh man, like I wanna give him the chance, but I'm not sure about this person. I don't think he'll last long.

Kate: Hmm. 

Kyle: And that person ended up being with me for almost two years. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: And was a person I can always count on. And it was a person that became my friend and it was a person that every single company would request, but like he’s just a person. They also need a lot of help outside of work with just facing life or just…

They need a lot of talks and a lot of support, and those are the moments I'm like, wow, like I had an effect in this person's life, but this person also had an effect in my life. 

Kate: Yeah, let's go back to your story. You've been through a lot of change and transformation. Would you tell me what your childhood was like and how you came up through high school to really where you are today? Tell me your story. 

Kyle: Okay. Um, I lived a normal life and for me, I tell people, I'm like, well, my normal life was being sexually, physically, and mentally abused.

It was kind of being poor. It was becoming a survivor at a young age, it was a person full of fear. Uh, my mother was 16 when she had me. She was very abusive, uh, mentally and physically. She cut me down a lot. I was the oldest sibling out of six. My dad was not emotionally available. He was also mentally and physically abusive, but no matter like how crappy my parents were, I still looked up to them, or what I see as today, like, no, I was just looking for their love. 

Kate: Yeah.

Kyle: They split up when I was 10 years old. It was very rough. My mom partied with a lot of young kids. I always was sent to my room. I was never allowed to be a part of anything. I always kind of reminded her of my father. Um, she used to call me names. You're just like your father. But not all of it was bad.

I was very good at sports. I played soccer, I played hockey. I used to go to seven week sport camps every summer. It was mainly so my mom could get rid of me, but like I took advantage of it. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: And I love playing sports. I even got like a gold medal for sailing, for tennis. 

Kate: Wow. 

Kyle: I found that like brotherhood in sports, but I was still bullied.

I still had to earn my right. But for me, like I just kept my head down and I played good and I stayed focused. I did quit my junior year. I went to more of like hanging out with people and partying and doing drugs, thinking that was the cooler thing. . 

And I regret it so much. Not finishing up my soccer for high school. There could have been something there. It could have been college. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: But I just decided to give it up, like I gave up most things. 

Kate: Was there something that made you do that, you think, to make you quit your junior year? 

Kyle: It was fear. It was being defiant, it was being negative. It was that kind of energy.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: That just kind of drove me to just make really stupid decisions. 

Kate: Mm. Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: Like I also joined the Future Business Leaders of America. I acted in place. I got close to teachers. They always use that word, potential. They saw potential in me. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: I attracted to people that showed kindness. I got close to like friends and went home to their families and like would sleep over a lot and eat their food.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: So I would always like attract to people and create like a whole new family and kind of avoid my home. 

But I was still a person full of fear, full of anger. I emotionally reacted to absolutely every situation out there. I didn't do really well when it came to legal issues or cops. I ran my mouth a lot.

I always had something to say. Um, I learned that from my mom. And that kind of stuff just gets you into trouble. I got into a fight in high school. I got a simple assault charge, and from there I was court-ordered to JobCorps, which I chose the one in Springfield, Mass. And yeah, learned even more negative things.

I was with kids all from like cities. So for me, I had to learn how to steal. I had to learn how to do drugs more and better. I had to just learn how to become worse of a person, basically just to fit in. 

Kate: You were from a small town? 

Kyle: Yeah, so I'm from Berlin, New Hampshire, so I'm a small-town boy that moved down to Springfield, Mass, hanging out with kids from New York, Boston, Hartford, Connecticut, all the big cities of the East Coast.

Kate: Yeah. Before we go any further, I'm curious, you've said a couple times you were full of fear. 

Kyle: Mm-hmm. 

Kate: Which I think is such a, it's a universal experience as humans, but we all have different things we fear. What do you think you were ultimately afraid of at that time? 

Kyle: I was afraid of being let down. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: I was afraid of feeling love and hope and then losing it.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: So I kind of controlled what was given to me. I controlled the outcome. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: So that's why I self-sabotage a lot. Or I would emotionally react and I’d end relationships or opportunities. I told myself, I'm the director of this. Like, I get to control who loves me, who hurts me, all that kind of stuff.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

You're in the big city. 

Kyle: Yes. 

Kate: You're learning these new ways of coping really, ultimately. 

Kyle: Yep. 

Kate: What did you do? What did you do next? 

Kyle: Well, I took masonry, which I was really good at. I graduated at the top of my class. I got accepted to Brick Layers Union. But that whole time I was down there, I was addicted to drugs.

I was on Oxycontin. I pretty much did anything in front of me. Um, there's nothing I wouldn’t’ve done and like I was with the kind of people that probably suffered similar things to me growing up. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: And for some reason we all just end up in the same place together. And I'm like, oh, how are we fixing anything?

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: I just ended up how people see it, like where I should have ended up. But I was not successful. I wasn't taught how to become a man. I wasn't taught how to have coping skills. I wasn't taught how to be a member of society. I was taught the opposite. 

Kate: Hmm. 

You were talking about potential and the people who were compelled to show you kindness and how you were drawn to them earlier and all the potential they saw in you.

Kyle: Mm-hmm. 

Kate: Do you think they actually thought you should be where you ended up, or was it you who thought that?

Kyle: It was me that thought that. It was a story I just decided to write that helped me cope with what I was going through. 

Kate: Mm. 

Kyle: I created the mess. I did the things that led me to these situations, and I was more than happy to still blame everything and everyone for it.

Kate: So you're in Springfield, Massachusetts. You've been court ordered to JobCorps after an assault charge in high school. Could you describe what it was like to be there in JobCorps?

Kyle: It was a government compound where you weren't like actually allowed to leave. I did not have any communication with my mom or any of my family.

I was down there for almost two years. I did well in the beginning, you know, I'd wake up on time, I'd follow the rules. I'd go to you know, the masonry class, I’d participate. I got close to the teacher. Like I'm very artistic. So I felt like it was art that I was doing, laying brick and block and taking pride in my work and design.

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: But like, just like anything else, it, I fell off and I attracted to the wrong things and the wrong people, and I decided to go the other path. So, typical day for me down there was waking up very late, or not waking up at all, hiding in my bedroom, my closet. So when the person would come around to check our rooms, I would be hiding in there and I'd just stay in there and sleep all day.

Kate: So what did you do after you got out of JobCorps and how did that end up with you being incarcerated? 

Kyle: I left JobCorps. I got accepted to the Bricklayers Union. I gave up that opportunity. I decided to get high instead. I went back up to the town I was from, Berlin, New Hampshire, because as much suffering there is up there like, I'm comfortable up there 'cause I know everything and everyone. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: I fell in love or at least I thought I was falling in love and I actually moved to Pennsylvania for a couple years with that girl and I wasn't really getting into legal trouble yet. I was still committing a lot of crimes and getting away with it.

Whether it's scamming eBay, scamming the government, giving myself tax returns, 'cause I worked for H&R Block, whether it's stealing from Walmart. 

It took me coming back home with her to Berlin, a couple years later. That's when I would start getting caught and then the charges just started piling up and I think 2012– it was the first year I did a sentence and my first sentence was six months. 

And that first time I obviously had to learn how to do time and how to navigate difficult personalities inside the walls, of like not really getting in a fight or saying the wrong thing or just learning how to do time where it's just not punishing or suffering for myself.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: My first sentence, I maxed out because I got caught on the phone trying to break drugs into the jail. 

Kate: Wow. 

Kyle: So I was very, very uneducated. Very naive. Always trying to do something to probably get people like me or even just get high and get out of myself. 

Kate: How long were you incarcerated and how did that affect your addiction?

Kyle: All together, I've done probably seven years of time. 

Kate: Hmm. 

Kyle: Not at the same time, The most I've ever done at once is two and a half years, but my addiction still thrived. I didn't really miss a day of getting high, whether it's getting high with stuff that was brought in, stuff that I brought in myself, or medications that I'd get off of other inmates, or it was just medications I got prescribed myself.

I was still able to get prescribed Klonopin, and you know, Gabapentin and all these things that would help me not feel the way I, I felt. 

Kate: Yeah. So when you got out, maybe the first time you got out, did you have somewhere to go and what was your plan? 

Kyle: So the first time I got out, yes, I still had the girlfriend. I had two daughters, I had a home to go to. I had their support during the first time, I'd done time. But nothing changed because I didn't understand that I needed to change or I didn't understand there was something wrong with me at that point. So I went home and did the same things. 

Kate: And then by the time you got out for the last time, where were you at? 

Kyle: At that time I was homeless. I did not have the girlfriend. I did not have the children in my life. I did not have anything or anyone. I had nowhere to turn to. You know, people talk about rock bottom.

Kate: Is there a rock bottom? 

Kyle: So there are rock bottoms, because even when you hit bottom, there's still more to lose.

And that's time. 

Kate: Hmm. 

Kyle: That's literally your life or time, your time, you're giving up with family time, you're giving up with yourself, time, you're giving up with your children. So it was many rock bottoms. It was just like how many times I want to hit bottom and keep trying to climb out of it. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

So how did you decide to try to climb out ultimately?

Kyle: It wasn't an easy decision and it wasn't made immediately. It grew on me over time. I ended up in treatment. I did really well over there. I went to a long term treatment center. I got kicked out of there. And for me, what I did, I did one of those Facebook cries. I don't know if you understand what that is, but just kind of like post something on Facebook and cry about my life and where I'm at and I'm homeless.

And then someone reached out to me, a person that I grew up with up in Berlin, in New Hampshire. Our families were kind of like enemies and we didn't get along and he was operating a sober house in Manchester. And he reached out to me, he said, how willing are you? 

Kate: Wow. 

Kyle: Like, how far are you willing to go?

And, and at the time I'm homeless. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: I don't have anything. I don't have food. I'm like, I'm, I'm willing. You know, you say what you have to say to get yourself into a safe home for the night. And I told him I was willing and he gave me a bed. And from that night that's what started an over four year recovery journey for myself. 

Kate: What is a sober house? 

Kyle: It's a home that provides structure and accountability for people that wanna stay sober and become a part of society again.

Kate: When your former enemy offered you a bed and asked if you were willing, you said something that maybe alluded to the fact that you didn't know necessarily if you were willing. Is that the case? 

Kyle: Yes. 

Kate: What was it about that experience at that sober house that you think brought you to a place of real willingness?

Kyle: So that sober house had winners, people really taking sobriety and recovery serious. Because after the first couple weeks, the treatment center that kicked me out was willing to take me back. 

Kate: Hmm. 

Kyle: And immediately my sick mind's like, heck yeah. I can go back there, have my insurance pay for it, not be responsible for anything.

Not get a job, not pay for my own rent, because I haven't worked in 10 years. 

Kate: Yeah.

Kyle: And not do anything that I need to do as a man and change who I am. But it took that group of people to say, “Kyle, it's time. It's literally time to walk through the fear.” And I decided to trust in them and I stayed. And for me, I walked through the fear and I walked five miles a day to work at E&R Cleaners for $10.50 an hour for six months.

Kate: Wow. 

Kyle: I got an employee of the month. I did that also while working a program and working on myself and meeting the meeting requirements of the house and having a sponsor and just changing who I was as a person and learning from people that care, but learning from people that also want to change their lives.

I took it all in. I sucked it all up. I stole what they knew, and I just started applying it to my life. 

Kate: What's an example of that sort of accountability and structure? Are there any other specific examples of a moment you remember? Even as simple as like somebody getting you out of bed or something?

Kyle: Yeah, it's the small moments of like making your bed, getting out of bed. Don't call outta work today. It's go to this meeting tonight. When you don't feel like it, it's call your sponsor. It's raise your hand and speak at a meeting. It's just all those small moments of them just pushing you to do things that you don't want to do.

I was done fighting. I was done being defiant. I was done being the guy with all the answers. I was done manipulating and stealing and acting like I'm a person that needs to do what he needs to do to survive on this planet. 

Kate: Hmm. 

And so were those people who were kind of coaching you along and sort of showing compassion really, I think, were they coming from situations like yours?

Is that how you knew to trust them or is that how they knew to coach you? 

Kyle: Yes, so we've all like, struggled very similar paths. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: For me, it was easy to listen to them just because yes, they were recovering addicts and alcoholics, but it showed in their daily life and who they were as people, that it was working.

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: There was no denying it. 

Kate: When you got that first job that you were making $10 and 50 cents an hour, what did it mean to you to have that work and to get Employee of the Month, and what do you think that did for your path toward recovery? 

Kyle: It was everything. It was so important. It was not much money at all. It was enough to pay my rent and maybe get a cheeseburger that week, but it was enough to build a routine. It was enough to build me as a man to show up every day, like I showed up every day no matter what, and it was just an opportunity for me to stay focused on something so simple of like just going to work every day.

And that's it. That's all I need to focus on right now. Going to work. 

Kate: Yeah.

Kyle: Going home and doing recovery. Like I don't need to worry about the pile of shit that I've left behind. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: For me, that was the hardest part. I was not willing to let go of the image of what I wanted back in my life, and that was always my issue, I was chasing what I wanted instead of like giving myself what I needed.

And what I needed was a structure, a job. A home and brotherhood and safety –and building all that is what opened doors to everything else. And then I was able to start facing the things I needed to face, like paying off fines to get my license back, doing all these little things like getting the pending charges dropped so I can be off probation and everything.

And everything was just a trickle effect, just me simply just showing up to life every day. Not always living the moment, not always happy with where I am in life, and that's okay. But I did it anyway. 

Kate: And you kept going until you ended up at MaineWorks? 

Kyle: Yes. In management. 

Kate: So how did you get that job?

Kyle: Okay, so stay with me here.

I finally left E&R Cleaners after six months and I went and got a job in a treatment center, Avenues Recovery Center. Basically, I was a technician that just helped hand out meds to the clients at the rehab, gather 'em up for meetings, basically just be who I was and kind of like lead by example and show 'em that recovery is possible, and just keeping people like motivated for life.

And then I got promoted to tech supervisor where I overlooked all the techs. And then I was also managing RJM House at the time, and this is my enemy. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: Who I'm best friends with today. And Margo, at the time she was coming down to New Hampshire to tour sober houses because she was trying to find the sober houses that she would hire people from.

'Cause you know, she doesn't just like hiring anyone from any sober house. She wants to make sure the good houses provide real accountability and have people growing and of course I gave her the tour. Uh, she naturally fell in love with me and then they offered me a job building relationships with sober houses.

And then I took it on full time in 2020, September 1st, where I was just kind of like running a small crew of workers in the surrounding areas for New Hampshire. So I've been at the beginning of MaineWorks New Hampshire since it kicked off and started. 

Kate: Kicked off in a pandemic nonetheless.

Kyle: Yes, yes. That was the other thing. That was, that was something, yeah. 

Kate: And you were able to keep the doors open. 

Kyle: Yes. 

Kate: Which was so important. We've seen addiction spike with the isolation that happened during that time. I was so moved by the documentary Hopeful, which you can watch on PBS about MaineWorks and it's such a good movie.

Kyle: It's so good.

Kate: One of the things that I really loved was just feeling like I got to listen in on those Morning Circles. 

Anonymous Speaker from Hopeful, the Maineworks documentary: I lost my brother recently. Normally I would, I'd be going off the wagon and uh, this circle, MaineWorks, everything's been keeping me together. You know this meeting right here that we do, it’s something that can't put a price on it.

Kate: Tell me about the Morning Circle. What's the purpose? What happens there? 

Kyle: So Morning Circles is where you're able to set the tone, share, like how real this all is, like addiction recovery. We're able to relate at that point because everyone in the management team is in recovery themselves. We're battling this each and every single day, just like everyone else.

So is this an opportunity to get emotional, share something real, share something exciting, share success, and set the tone for like, all right, you know, we kicked butt this week. Give yourself a pat on the back and let's show back up Monday. Let's keep doing this. 

Kate: It's so incredible to see. First off, like when I see construction workers, my brother pours concrete and he is just like a hulk of a human.

Kyle: Yeah. 

Kate: And I am so in awe of him always. And he can do anything, you know, in my mind, my brother can do anything. And to imagine all those guys that come to work with him that I've seen on the crew, standing around encouraging each other and opening up and being vulnerable, I can't imagine that happening.

I feel like there's so much bravery and courage in the recovery community to be able to show up for each other like that and open up like that. 

Kyle: Yes, absolutely. I totally agree with that. And it's not easy for everyone. There's people that still struggle to open up and share that pain, and thank God there's people willing because yeah, the people that are not willing are not there yet. They will be someday. And what we're sharing is just literally just helping the next person. That one guy that was kind of on the fence about recovery, he is like, ah, yeah, but maybe there's this one thing that one person said that triggered his mind and affected him. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: But like the effect could be endless of what we're actually doing. And I don't even think we're aware half the time of what we're actually doing by simply just showing up. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: Keeping it real, speaking the truth and how infectious that is in someone's life of like wanting to change their life forever or face something that they need to face or go home that day and walk through a fear probably, you know, maybe they heard that one thing they need to make a decision on something that they've been debating, we don't know. 

Kate: What do you tell people about the importance of job opportunity for someone who's just getting out of prison? Why is that so critical to recovery? 

Kyle: I think it's beneficial for everyone because all we're really doing is adding someone back to society that's willing to show up every day, and it just helps with community.

It helps with the energy of your workplace. When an employer is willing to take on someone that's in addiction or someone that has came straight out of jail, it just shows their open-mindedness and their willingness to work with people that need a second chance. We can't define someone by everything that they've done in the past and define them by their addiction.

And when we are able to hire people that struggle with these things and help them in that process, I think it's super important. 

Kate: And it's also important, I think, to that point of helping people reintegrate into society. We need everyone. 

Kyle: Yes. 

Kate: Like there's the governor of Maine and your state senator on that documentary talking about the amount of jobs that Maine cannot fill. We need construction workers, we need day laborers, we need people all across America. And to find willing hands who are capable and skilled and also, you know, who really need a second chance, it's this beautiful win-win. 

Kyle: Yes, absolutely. Because now we're filling those jobs.

If you're an employer, you're getting the best version of that person. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: Good employees are hard to come by because we all have things that we have to take care of outside of work, and there's all things that we struggle with. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: But knowing that we know the problem with an individual and we're helping them with that problem, that's a win-win in my eyes, that is worth the risk.

Kate: It's a big part of it because these people are working the program and they have accountability. Whereas, you know, we know as a country, I think it was a 2021 report from our US Department of Health and Human Services, that 94% of Americans who struggle with substance abuse disorder, alcohol abuse disorder, 94% do not get treatment.

So you have those people, some of those people in the workforce struggling to stay in their job, but not having the support or accountability. 

Kyle: Right. 

Kate: And that's not good for anybody. 

Kyle: No, it's not. It's not good for that company. It's not good for that person. And it could create a bigger mess. And it usually comes out of a situation like that where we're not helping someone that's struggling 'cause we're not aware of their struggles because they're quiet about it or they're hiding it, right? 

I'd rather take the person that's not hiding anything, know what I'm dealing with, and know where I can help them. 

Kate: So you are now doing that with your own sober house. Tell me about your new sober house. 

Kyle: It's long-term sober living. I just wanted there to be another step after sober living. Not everyone is ready to buy their own house. Not everyone is making enough money to afford their own apartment. I don't want to  force people to find a girlfriend or boyfriend and, you know, go move in with them if it's not a relationship they should be in.

Like it's for the long-term people in sobriety. A year or more of, okay, you've outgrown the sober house. You're starting to go backwards in a place 'cause you've been there too long. It's community living. You've seen a lot of people come and go, yeah, you've gotten what you can get from that sober house.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: I'm going to still provide you with what you need, which is accountability and structure, but with a lot more freedom and a lot more room to grow as a man or a woman in recovery of like, making decisions for yourself. So like there's, you know, collecting program fees each week. There's obviously the accountability between the other people that you live with.

We still do community events each month, community and unity. But like, this is for people, like they still need a little bit of structure, but this is just a good option for them. 

Kate: What's a community event like? Give me an example. 

Kyle: Last time I did a cereal drive for a school. Or we go hand out food to the homeless or we go collect blankets and we hand 'em out in the winter, pick up trash or stuff like that. Get involved in other sober houses, anything like that. 

Kate: And is a unity event a different thing? 

Kyle: Yeah, so unity is within the house. Whether like we go to movies together, we go play mini golf. We let Kyle chef up in the backyard and cook up some smash burgers and some ribs.

Yes. Whatever it is. So stuff like that where we are focused on us hanging out. 

Kate: Yeah. How long have you yourself been sober and what does that mean to you today?

Kyle: So I have been sober since April 26th, 2019. 

Kate: Wow. 

Kyle: So it's a little over four years. And for me, it is absolutely everything. Like I could not have achieved what I have today, in my life without sobriety, without knowing who I am as a person, without putting in work, without proving myself, or without showing up every day without changing who I am as a man.

And I'm all about laughter and love and tolerance and brotherhood and community, and I'm so glad I have these qualities today as a man in recovery. But I also am glad I have the knowledge, I have the lived experience, I have the opportunity to help others. Like I, I love when people are just amazed by the simplest way of like helping something like, like I'm literally just bringing you to this appointment and people are just like, wow, this is so much. Like no man, like… just to see people that grateful fills my heart and just to see people achieve next to me, people that I love. To have my daughters back in my life today to have a dog, to have a girlfriend, to have a turtle.

To be able to collect my nerdy things and just keep growing. Like keep changing who I am, keep changing my dreams, but like what stays the same is me showing up every day, walking through fear, even when I don't love it, when I'm feeling down or depressed, I still show up. I still work on what's important for me and I make the best of whatever I have today and I don't look back.

Kate: Hmm.

You talked about, you know, still facing your fears. Have your fears changed since you were younger and sort of running from that constant fear? 

Kyle: Yeah, so my fears have definitely changed today. The fear is just like not showing up every day or falling out of practice of being a better person and letting the old Kyle come in, or, yeah, not taking risk or being selfish or saying no to someone or like, everyday fears.

Kate: Everyday fears, yeah. 

Kyle: Of just like, okay, like all these things I'm doing, is it gonna lead to something bad? 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: But I will say there is one thing I'm not willing to do today, and it's pick up drugs or alcohol again, like I have no interest. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: I, I don't even think about it. 

Kate: Yeah. I read something like 16.5% of Americans are struggling with substance abuse disorder, so that's like over 46 million people and we talked about earlier how 94% of those people are not getting support. We're all impacted by this. I mean, if it's not us, it's our family. It's our friends, our coworkers, our neighbor, somebody, and often we don't even know because people are hiding it 'cause there's all this stigma. 

I'm curious, Kyle, you know, from your perspective, what do you want people to know about those struggling with substance abuse disorder, about people in recovery, what would you want the world to know? 

Kyle: What I would want everyone to know is just that we are the same. We are people that just chose something different when we hit anxiety or depression or when we fail, we resort to drinking or using, and it changes who we are as people and it shows a person that is not someone that we wanna wake up to be every day, and it's hard to not seem insane to someone when we are in it. 

Like even when I look back at myself, I'm like, wow, I would not approach Kyle. I would not have helped him, right? Because he doesn't show any signs of hope. He doesn't show any signs of change.

That's how different we could be. But for me, I think it's so important to remove the stigma and the perception, and I think it's important for more people to understand. Like I think the more people we can reach and let know that success is real in addiction and recovery. 

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

Kyle: And to definitely not give up on these people.

Like you don't even have to be a big part of the change of helping this individual. But you just not judging or being negative is all that's needed. 

Kate: Yeah. I think it's so powerful to hear you say that you might not have helped yourself.

Kyle: Yes, I wouldn't have. 

Kate: And yet someone did many times over and now you are changing so many people's lives.

What is it about this work that has the biggest impact on your life?

Kyle: It literally keeps me in check. It's like one of my forms of accountability. I can't go with that guy over there and tell him to do all these things if I don't do 'em myself. 

Kate: Yeah. 

Kyle: My style is just leading by example and just being there in their life and just being a help and trying to always bring out the positive in something.

Kate: Mm-hmm. 

What's giving you reasons to hope these days? 

Kyle: It's my daughters, first of all. Just having friends, having my family back in my life, having responsibilities, being someone that people can trust, being someone that someone calls for help. All these things give me hope. And keep me strong within to keep going. I know like the person I was and I thought I lived a life I deserved on this planet and then I found out I was able to paint a whole new life and I'm like, wow. 

Kate: Well you've given me so much hope today. So thank you Kyle. Thank you so much. 

Kyle: Absolutely, Kate. And thank you for having me.

Kate: Great big thanks to Kyle Wedge for sharing his powerful story of recovery and hope. And many thanks to Stern Productions, Tom Hildreth and Ian Retton for allowing us to use clips from the beautiful documentary Hopeful, the story of MaineWorks. For more on the amazing work of MaineWorks, go to MaineWorks.us

Hope Is My Middle Name is hosted and executive produced by me, Kate Tucker. You can find me on Instagram @KateTuckerMusic, and if there's someone you think belongs on the show, please send me a message. This episode was produced by Christine Fennessy with editing from Rachel Swaby. Our production coordinator is Percia Verlin.

Our sound designer and engineer is Scott Somerville. Music by the fantastic artists at Epidemic Sound, Soundstripe and me. Thank you to Conor Gaughan, our publisher and fearless leader at Consensus Digital Media. Hope Is My Middle Name can be found on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, it would mean a lot to us if you would follow, rate, and review the show.

Hope Is My Middle Name, is a podcast by Consensus Digital Media produced in association with Reasonable Volume. See you next time!